SEÑOR

Dispatches from the gap between how the world works and how we pretend it does.

Tag: travel

  • Monuments to Ourselves

    Monuments to Ourselves

    I recently moved to a place that is a short walk from Abbey Road in St John’s Wood.

    Every day, and night, there is a crowd of varying size gathered at either side of a certain zebra crossing comprised of groups who have turned out for their turn to cross.

    One member from each of the groups (some are pairs, some are a squad) will invariably dash out into the street holding up a phone, or, on rarer occasions, a proper camera, while the others attempt their best approximation of the Beatles stride pictured on the cover of their last recorded album. Traffic pauses. Horns sound. Photographs are taken. The next fireteam files forward while motorists silently shake their heads in scorn.

    For those unfamiliar with the environs of Abbey Road Studios and the crossing beside it, this is not Piccadilly Circus. It is a quiet residential part of London. The assembled faithful therefore constitute a genuine throng in this corner of St John’s Wood. Residents and commuters find themselves incongruously negotiating safe passage through this incessant fracas.

    Before this latest move, I was staying in Notting Hill. There, too, crowds assembled daily in a trafficked side street outside a private residence made famous by a romantic comedy that borrowed the neighbourhood’s name for its title. People emerge from the herd, wait their turn, stand before a particular house’s not so particular blue door, smile, photograph, and then chimp before melting back into the crowd.

    The story of the door is revealing.

    It originally belonged to Richard Curtis, the film’s screenwriter. The production designer chose it by chance, unaware of its ownership. Following the film’s success, the original door was auctioned off for charity. The residents who remained behind grew weary of the endless stream of tourists, graffiti and photographers and replaced it with a plain black door. Eventually, a subsequent owner repainted the replacement door blue and the pilgrims returned.

    The original artifact had vanished.

    And yet the ritual remained.

    My irritation with all this was not surprising to me though that I kept dwelling on it was. There seemed to be something more noxious here than the odor of mass tourism. Something faintly indecent wafted off the transformation of ordinary pieces of infrastructure and private property into tourist attractions at a cost imposed upon people who never consented to bear it.

    Let us linger there for a moment.

    We are accustomed to monuments being erected to receive visitors. The Cenotaph was built to be visited. Cathedrals were built to receive pilgrims. Museums were built to preserve and display objects deemed worthy of our collective attention. Society decides, explicitly or implicitly, that a place or object possesses sufficient significance to justify the inconvenience associated with preserving and visiting it.

    Abbey Road is different.

    The Notting Hill door is different.

    Neither was intended to become a monument.

    Neither was designed to receive visitors.

    Neither was built to absorb the inconveniences that inevitably accompany significance.

    And yet significance arrived all the same.

    This is not a problem in itself. Meaning is rarely conferred by decree.

    John Searle called these things “institutional facts”: realities that exist because we collectively accept them as such. “Money, property, governments, and marriages,” he wrote, “are all institutional facts. They are facts only because we believe them to be facts.”

    Abbey Road is an institutional fact.

    The Notting Hill door is an institutional fact.

    Millions of strangers have collectively invested them with significance.

    In this sense, Abbey Road and the Notting Hill door are indeed monuments.

    No less than the Cenotaph.

    The Cenotaph is, literally, an empty tomb. A carefully shaped arrangement of stone. Yet nobody regards it as merely stone because it has become a vessel for memory, sacrifice and national identity.

    Abbey Road is thermoplastic paint on asphalt.

    The Notting Hill door is painted wood.

    Meaning has transformed matter in all three cases.

    And once a thing or place has been invested with meaning, people will inevitably come to visit it.

    Again, that, in itself, is not the problem.

    The inconvenience of pilgrimage is tolerable when pilgrimage remains an act of reverence. The problem arises when the crowds are not really there for the monument at all.

    The crowds at Abbey Road seem to be engaged in something subtly different. They do not come to stand before the monument. They come to stand at its centre.

    The famous blue door in Notting Hill is gone. The original object was auctioned years ago. The tourists need not know, because once the sign has detached from the referent, that knowledge becomes irrelevant.

    The same is true of Abbey Road. Visitors are not really interested in a zebra crossing. Nor, I suspect, are they particularly interested in the Beatles. What they seek is proximity to significance.

    Not significance itself.

    Its acquisition.

    The photographs they take function as a deed to significance, albeit borrowed. A fragment of cultural meaning harvested and placed on display among the many symbols from which contemporary identity is curated.

    And this is where my two objections converge.

    First, these monuments have been erected without consent. Their costs have been socialized while their benefits remain private. Residents and road users are conscripted into maintaining a theatre whose script they never approved.

    Second, and more damningly, the theatre is not performed in service of remembrance or reverence.

    It is performed in service of extraction.

    The visitors arrive at places invested with meaning not in order to be changed by them, but in order to carry some portion of that meaning away.

    Not transformation, association.

    Not inward change, outward display.

    Not reverence, acquisition.

    They do not seek communion with the monument. They seek to appropriate its symbolic capital and attach it to themselves.

    This is what pilgrimage becomes when reverence is replaced by appropriation.

    “The consumer society needs its objects in order to be, and more precisely it needs to destroy them.”

    Jean Baudrillard

    While the authentic pilgrim carries home a changed soul, the pilgrim-on-trend carries home a photograph; the latest token in a civilization organized around endless acquisition.

    Experiences are accumulated.

    Places are accumulated.

    Culture is accumulated.

    Even identity becomes a project of curation in which symbols are gathered, displayed and discarded in pursuit of an ever-receding core sense of self.

    The object of our interest has not merely lost its sacredness, it has been subordinated to the project of self-construction.

    The tourists play at paying homage to the Beatles when in fact something more parasitic is taking place.

    The crossing is mined.

    The film is mined.

    Culture itself is mined.

    Meaning is excavated, photographed and carried away in pockets.

    And when every monument becomes a quarry for the self, the self ceases to be formed by reverence and is instead enlarged by annexation.

    This is not growth.

    It is accumulation.

    The encounter is no longer metabolized.

    It is recorded.

    Its significance is not digested and transmuted into character.

    It remains external.

    The photograph.

    The association.

    The anecdote.

    The proof of having been there.

    Each is affixed to the self rather than incorporated within it.

    The self becomes an assemblage of borrowed meaning: a collage of appropriated symbols whose significance derives from elsewhere.

    It grows larger.

    But not deeper.

    More decorated.

    But not more substantial.

    Its parts never fuse into a coherent whole because they were never truly absorbed. They remain trophies of encounter rather than agents of transformation.

    And so the monuments remain.

    The crossing.

    The blue door.

    The Cenotaph.

    But increasingly they are no longer destinations.

    They are mirrors.

    No longer places before which we diminish ourselves.

    Increasingly, they are places at which we place ourselves at the center.

    And the most elaborate monuments we build today are not dedicated to our heroes, our dead, or our ideals.

    They are monuments to ourselves.

  • A New Deal with London

    A New Deal with London

    I never took an interest in London.

    Soaked in drizzle and beer for openers, boiled beef as an entrée, and constipation for dessert.

    Why bother?

    London, I figured, is what happens when an empire is forced into retirement and has to downsize – a damp city of souvenirs, visible only in the dim light reflected off the self-satisfied grin of an erstwhile hegemon. In Anglo-Saxon: a city where cankles are pickled in gin and stuffed in heels under a canopy of ceremonial hats on their way to the races.

    I had seen enough of London to know that it wasn’t all damp tweed and tea. And I wasn’t wholly ignorant of its more contemporary contributions to culture (Bond, Burgess, Banksy, the Beatles), but it always seemed like more of a halfway house for things Great Britain before crossing the Atlantic to go global – a secondary concern.

    Then my fellow Americans elected Trump. For a second time.

    Meanwhile, the ethnic cleansing of Semites was never again going on in Gaza with the American military standing overwatch.

    There’s never a good time for a Trump administration or for suborning genocide. But with our son less than a year from applying to university the timing couldn’t be worse. Our expatriate life notwithstanding, we had always considered an American university education obligatory. That is, until we saw U.S. universities kowtow to Trump’s threats and curtail freedom of expression with the pliancy of a damp cardboard protest sign.

    When the guardians of the rule of law began negotiating exemptions under similar threats, we knew we had to look for alternatives.

    Forlorn, we turned our gaze to the Old World – where, for the time being, fascism was still being held at bay – and booked an exploratory trip to London curated by Banyan Educational Consultancy.

    Our journey from Heathrow to St John’s Wood was made under pleasantly surprising morning sunlight. The pace was the same slow slog through pedestrian crossings we had always encountered, but this time it seemed less like congestion and more like machines politely giving way to people.

    The dusty bric-a-brac of empire had vanished. London now stood smiling upright with the pride of a meticulously kept archive.

    Even the construction sites – reliable eyesores elsewhere – looked as if they had submitted their hoarding for aesthetic approval. Invisibly jointed panels of painted wood encased the bases of perfectly aligned scaffolding, each one begging our pardon for the interruption with an earnestness that almost felt monastic.

    There was a general harmony to this polyglot London — a civic self-respect that had survived the melting pot. Everything appeared nicely coordinated and composed, like an orchestra tuning itself.

    In the sunlight, the descendants of the hackney coach impressed as monuments to British forward thinking and design ingenuity. Unlike the lazy genius of painting every taxi yellow and calling it a system — London’s black cabs were bespoke: designed from the chassis up to transport you comfortably whilst you continued your conversation.

    And like so much else here, they were the product of such careful consideration that their evolution is barely noticeable: today’s cabs hum along in hybrid silence almost indistinguishable from their petrol-driven grandparents.

    The food — long the international punchline — has also stepped up.

    Pubs have gone gastro retaining the services of culinary wizards to innovate beyond traditional offerings and transform once dull slabs of roast beef into piquant medallions of grass-fed filets.

    In the space of days, I ate my way across the former Empire: Greek at Lemonia, Japanese at Roketsu, Indian at Darjeeling Express, Persian at Kish. Bagels at Panzer’s Deli and ramen at Kanada-Ya, hot chocolate at WatchHouse and cappuccino at Hagen.

    It is as though the city had finally stopped trying to hide its sordid past and started making the best of it instead.

    As a bonus, London remains literate to this day – evidenced by the number of bookshops still able to afford brick and mortar rents on the High Street.

    To be sure there’s been consolidation and many independent booksellers have vanished – but that may have been more the result of herd trading than actual economics. Judging by a shelf highlighting titles of the moment, tastes remain sophisticated and eclectic – Surrounded by Idiots; A Book Against Death; How to Read a Tree; A Winter Book; How to Stand Up to a Dictator.

    Mindset matters.

    I would be deluding myself if I thought London had just recently emerged from its chrysalis. There were clearly considerations nudging this affinity into being.

    Our highs were certainly buoyed by dear old friends who had recently moved to London from Den Haag. Walking its streets with them gave the city a fond familiarity, recalibrating our focus onto things we liked rather than things we expected not to.

    The prospect of K Dupaix attending university here also forced us to find opportunities where we would have otherwise seen risks. Again, nudged – not forced. (And helped me, not us. Mum is preternaturally positive.)

    We were shown around K’s short list of Unis by N. Like everyone at Banyan, N is a highly educated professional with a long list of qualifications who happened to have graduated from one of the schools we were visiting. She is also the first person I had ever met that suffers from loose ligaments. I had no idea such a condition even existed.

    I know everyone is unique and special, but people in London are fascinatingly so.

    Guy Hill, for example – one of the proprietors of Dashing Tweeds – has, with his co-founder, transformed tweed in a way that makes you want to move to London and wear it as much as possible. And if you want to get around on bicycle, you can have a jacket made in Lumatwill: a tweed woven with a high-vis reflective thread, sporting elegance in the day safe travels by night!

    NOW, THEREFORE, in consideration of the premises and the mutual covenants set forth herein and for other good and valuable consideration that I just can’t get into right now, the Dupaixes are moving to London.

    At least until the winter – when London, like all great things, reminds one that nothing easy is worth having.

  • Please stop.

    Please stop.

    With the guardrails down and the bus dangerously tilting into the ravine on the turns, the talking heads upfront joined together to repeat the refrain “Shalom, he should just go home” on the daily news as the First Amendment was turned into an irrelevant detail. This post was supposed to be a follow-up to My Last reaching out to those in the Jewish community who are fighting the madness that is being perpetrated in their name by MAGA in concert with Jewish Supremacy groups.

    But something more urgent has come up.

    Expressions of foodgasms are reaching pandemic levels. No matter your algorithm, a few swipes in—if not the very first post—you’ll be assailed by someone taking a fist-sized bite of their latest culinary triumph and melting into a slow-motion orgasm. Eyes shut, body swaying, moaning with pleasure.

    When was this normalized?

    Far be it from me to police people’s joy. Food is pleasure, and maybe—just maybe—some people really do experience deep-throated arousal from a well-toasted grilled cheese. Fine. I will allow that. But who, exactly, asked to see their faces in flagrante delicto?

    If we were being forced to witness the rare moment when someone encounters an orchestra of flavors they’ve never experienced, I would simply have looked the other way. Although I would have thought a genuine experience along those lines would be more wonder than whoopee, had this been the case, I would have just gone on my merry way. But no, this is now every food post, every day.

    Not to go all slippery slope on you but someone will soon up the ante and so we must ask ourselves, what’s next? In-mouth cameras streaming the dirty act of mastication.

    Let’s be honest – if food is your profession, if you taste and critique it every day, are you really experiencing daily papillae erections? Every single thing you slap together—every slice of avocado toast, every sip of bone broth—is just so exquisite that your gustatory cells blow your eyes shut?

    Have you no decency Sir? Madam? Siredam?

    Please stop.

    And if you share my distress, please reach out to the billionaire dictating online decency in your part of the world and ask them to show some integrity by putting foodgasms behind a paywall. Do it for the children.

  • The Hose

    The Hose

    A Poem by River Dempsey

    Hose with Sphincter Grip

    Most Eloquently Composed Upon the Occasion of Hector Dupaix’s Ill-Tongued Reproach of Those Esteemed Individuals Who, in Their Exercise of Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness, Have Chosen to Identify in the Likeness of Hoses; Addressing Such Maligning as an Offense to Reason and Nature, and Rendering in Verse the Defense of So Noble a Comparison as May Be Found Between the Human Form and the Hose.

    This work is humbly dedicated to the betterment of Humanity, in the Year of Our Lord, 2024, under the gaze of stars eternal and with the hope that hearts may soften to the truth of our essence.

    I am a hose,
    Simple and plain,
    Stretching in silence, under sun, under rain.
    From one end, things flow—
    Ideas, emotions, water, words
    Through twists and turns,
    All things emerge.

    You see, we are alike,
    You and I.
    Taking in, we digest, we carry, we let fly.
    What enters, we hold,
    For moments or miles,
    Then out it goes,
    In bursts or in whiles.

    Sometimes, I leak,
    A crack in my side,
    But who among us has not tried to hide
    The overflow, the tear, the gap in the seam?
    Yet still I channel, still I stream.

    And like you,
    I connect what’s distant,
    A bridge for the flow, from source to mouth.
    We are conduits of what we take in,
    Expelling the waste, the joy, the sin.

    At my core, a vessel I be—
    But isn’t that what it means to be free?
    To take in the world, to let it pass through,
    A process that shapes both me and you.

    We are all hoses,
    Bound by our task,
    To carry, to filter, to empty at last.
    And though we may coil, and stretch out too far,
    We ought to know the truth of who we are.

    A hose, a human, we are the same,
    Receiving, releasing, again and again.